Haphephobia
by Awsomeangel
Summary: Shinji is always shying away and refusing to let Kaworu even hold his hand, and Kaworu has had enough. Fluffy fluff of pure fluffyness. Featuring blushing!Shinji and devious!Kaworu.


**Written for Spitstains headcannon about Kaworu using the DSS choker so he could touch Shinji without being pushed away, because Shinji has physical contact issues.**

* * *

"I was born to meet you." Shinji's attention was dragged away from the starry night sky at those words; a bright blush erupted on his cheeks as he looked at the boy lying beside him.

Kaworu's head was tilted to the side as he smiled at Shinji; his right arm was crossed behind his head, and his left… Shinji let out gasp of surprise as he felt a hand brush his side and try to entwine with his. Shinji looked away, uncomfortable with the contact.

"Please stop, Kaworu-kun." He didn't dislike Kaworu, no, exactly the opposite, but… No matter how right it felt, he couldn't suppress the feeling of discomfort at physical contact with anyone. He looked away, trying not to pay attention the slightly dejected look in the others eyes.

They spent the rest of the night in silence, enjoying each others company without the need to speak, but even as they said their 'good nights', neither of them could ignore the slight feeling of discomfort in the air.

* * *

At twelve o'clock midnight, Shinji lay on his plain white bed, staring at the sterile ceiling, even with his music, he was unable to relax enough to sleep without a familiar feeling of fear and panic overcome him at being so… alone.

Even his room in Misato's house had been better then this, this stifling nothingness. After hours of tossing and turning and failure to do so much as close his eyes, the brown haired boy finally gave in to the urge to go… somewhere.

Shinji pushed himself up with his right arm, his left carelessly plucking out the two ear buds and letting them drop. Sliding to the edge of his bed, the brunette winced as his bare feet touched the cold floor of his room.

After standing up and (unsuccessfully) trying to smooth away the wrinkles in his shirt, Shinji padded along the cold floor, wanting to be somewhere. After much wandering and a rejected visit to Rei's closet-thing, Shinji found himself at the doorway of the room with the piano.

Not seeing anyone else at the moment, he slowly crossed the threshold, creeping inside. The piano glittered by the light of the stars, solitary and beautiful, and Shinji sucked in a breath. He wanted to play, but at the same time, didn't want to disturb the beauty of the serene piano. Besides, he reasoned, it would feel strange without Kaworu.

Speak of the devil and he shall come. The old saying ran through his mind as a warm hand landed on his shoulder, shocking him out of his stupor. "K-Kaworu-kun?" The said boy smiled as he grabbed Shinji's hand and began to drag him to the piano.

"You wanted to play, right?" After seating Shinji on one side of the bench, the white-haired boy plopped himself down on the other side, hovering his fingers over the keys and looking at Shinji with a smile.

Shinji sighed softly as they began to play, feeling his troubles evaporate, even just for the moment. Just when he started to relax, he felt something touch his chin. "K-kaworu-kun… S-stop it…!"

Shinji's hand went limp on the black keys of the piano, squirming away uncomfortably from his ever-persistent boyfriend as the said boy tried to nuzzle his neck, soft grey-white hair brushing the under-side of his chin and making him involuntarily shiver. Kaworu exhaled against Shinji's neck, brushing his lips against silky soft skin before reluctantly complying, pulling away with a slight pout.

"S-sorry… I guess I'm just not used to this sort of thing…" Shinji laughed nervously and looked down, as if trying to physically repent for not letting Kaworu touch him. The white-haired boy frowned but let it slide. After all, he didn't want to make Shinji feel too uncomfortable.

* * *

Shinji sighed as he looked back up at the piano. He felt almost guilty, but he just couldn't. Kaworu understood, right? "You did great." Shinji managed a slightly forced smile as he passed Ritsuko, whose attention was already back on her clipboard.

"Thanks." He headed outside but lingered by the door, waiting for Kaworu, reminiscing the first time he had met the other boy in the headquarters. He didn't have to wait long, as Kaworu was out within seconds, smiling as placidly as ever.

"Were you waiting for me?" Shinji willed back a blush as he spoke. "I… Yes." Kaworu only seemed to smile wider as the walked together to the baths in silence. What was Kaworu thinking now?

Shinji wondered as he fell into step beside the white-haired boy, almost shyly glancing up at the other before directing his gaze back at the floor immediately in front of his shoes. Suddenly, he felt a warm sensation spread across his left hand. Shinji tried to ignore it for a while, but when he finally looked down, he found his hand covered by another, paler, one.

Upon tracing his gaze up the arm connected to it, Shinji found himself staring Kaworu in the face. "K-kaworu-kun!" He jumped, tugging his hand away, not wanting to be rude but uncomfortable with his current predicament at the same time.

Kaworu blinked innocently at Shinji, whose face was bright red as he looked at the floor, but his thoughts were less then innocent. After all, this had been going on for several months now, ever since Shinji confessed, actually. Something had to change.

"W-what's that?" Shinji gaped at the dreaded collar around Kaworu's neck, a collar he thought he had gotten rid of a long, long time ago. Kaworu glanced down at the skin-tight collar encircling his slender neck, long fingers reaching up to brush it.

"This? And I thought you of all people would recognize it…It's a DSS choker of course." Shinji quickly closed his mouth as he stared at the dreaded… thing on Kaworu's neck. "B-but… why are you wearing it? Where did you get it, anyways?"

Kaworu smiled innocently. "No reason." He replied, artfully skipping over the second question, avoiding it (not so) discreetly. Shinji glanced almost suspiciously at the offending collar one last time, but dropped the subject.

* * *

He knew there was something wrong with the choker. Kaworu would never voluntarily wear one without some reason or other, and Shinji couldn't figure out why they would issue one to him.

Even though he had dismissed it physically, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Pathetic, he knew, but he really could afford to be careful. The next day, as they were in the baths together before bed, Kaworu's grand plan came into action.

Despite this not being their first bath together, Shinji felt strangely nervous, or maybe not so strangely, considering this really was how he always felt in this sort of situation. Of course, it wasn't that it was uncomfortable to be with Kaworu, no, quite the opposite, in fact, Shinji felt more at ease with Kaworu then with anyone else he knew, including Rei, Asuka, and Misato.

Kaworu was calm and not at all demanding, if you ignored his touchy-feely personality, he was… kind. Shinji lived for the time they spent together in the bath, or stargazing, or playing the piano, but for some reason, every touch from the other made him cringe.

As Shinji thought, he didn't notice Kaworu glance at him and move closer until he felt something warm and solid on his side. Shinji's head flew up as he gaped at the other, who merely smiled. "W-what are you–mmph!" He was cut off by soft lips pressed against his and a warm hand gripping his own. Shinji sat frozen for a moment, before pulling away with a gasp, his face steaming and bright red.

"W-what…?" Kaworu simply smiled kindly at Shinji… as his fingers found the button of the controller for the choker that still encircled his neck, even in the bath. Shinji's eyes widened as spikes began to solidify around Kaworu's neck, threatening to repeat what had happened back in a time Shinji so desperately tried to forget, and he did the first thing that came to mind–He tackled Kaworu. The remote was knocked out of Kaworu's hands, and as the pressure on the button diminished, so did the spikes around Kaworu's neck.

"My, I didn't know you liked touching me so much~!" Shinji's yelp of surprise could be heard throughout the entire compound as he realized his position, straddling Kaworu's waist and pinning Kaworu to the wet tiles of the floor of the baths.

He scrambled to get off Kaworu, he face deepening in color. "D-don't get the wrong idea!" Shinji moved away, slipping back into the steaming water. Kaworu just smiled as he advanced on the other boy, sitting beside him and shifting closer, grabbing his hand as Shinji's face continuously darkened in color.

"W-what are you doing, Kaworu-kun?" Kaworu didn't answer, humming softly as he entwined their fingers, leaning his head against Shinji's shoulder, unknowingly (or maybe knowingly?) making Shinji's entire body heat up, blushing to the roots of his hair. Shinji glanced nervously at the remote that seemed to back in Kaworu's hands somehow, and chose to stay where he was.

Kaworu seemed quite satisfied with himself, almost a little smug, but Shinji decided not to comment.

The brown haired boy glanced at Kaworu, who looked so completely at peace, he almost felt guilty shaking him gently as the lights turned off. That and the fact that the view was very admirable when Kaworu closed his eyes and relaxed, not that Shinji would ever admit it.

Kaworu opened his eyes slowly, blinking as he stared up at Shinji. "It's time to sleep." Shinji clarified as he tried to edge away from the white haired boy. Kaworu sighed softly in reply, climbing out of the bath and grabbing hold of Shinji's hand. "Together?" A smile played on the edge of his lips as Shinji shook his head franticly, blushing some more as he tried to take back his words.

"See you tomorrow?" Shinji looked relieved as he nodded, even leaning forward to hug Kaworu before he left. Shinji found himself thinking about the very last hug, the only one initiated by Shinji himself. Maybe touching Kaworu isn't so bad… He quickly took back the thought when Misato began teasing him about his beet-red face.

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